Anger and shame

Anger helps you observe and respond to boundary violations coming from the exterior world, and shame helps you observe and avoid boundary violations that may come from your interior world. Shame helps you protect your boundary and the boundaries of other people

What I notice when I have a good boundary is that I can experience other people as themselves instead of needing to control or change them. I can’t do it all the time—who can? However, when I’m grounded, focused, and well-defined, my interpersonal intelligence gets a lot smarter.