Pain of not doing is greater than the pain of doing

First date obsession is not real

Here’s what I realized in that pivotal moment: If you’ve gone on only a few dates (or in my case one date) with a person and you catch feelings, those feelings aren’t real, girl. They are shadows of the feelings you’re desperate to have, and thus, have projected onto this (very attractive) stranger.

I was lonely in those days. I didn’t realize how lonely and how bored I was in my dating drought. So when someone came along who was sexy and single and a semi-smart, all the longing that was stewing inside of my body waiting to be set free wrapped its arms around her. And it clung fiercely to her, because pent up desire doesn’t like living alone. But pent up desire has low standards; it will attach itself to almost anyone.

And I am more than my desire. You are more than your desire.

Daddy energy

“A daddy is a badass woman who will take care of you. She has her shit together. She knows how to do grownup shit, like make reservations. She’s good in bed. She has sophisticated taste in restaurants. She’ll order you a car home. She’s the opposite of a fuckboy.”

I sank into my seat and took in J’s daddy description. “Where do I sign up?” I asked, eagerly. I could feel my eyes glimmering from all the raw excitement swishing through my system.

“You need to change your taste in women. Your mindset. You won’t draw in daddies if you continue to radiate fuckboy energy.”

Chasing straight chicks

In my life as a gay/queer/whatever-you-want-to-call-me woman, I’ve spent a lot of time chasing straight chicks. I spent the longest time on H. That felt like a real relationship, even though we never labeled it. And then there have been all the straight women before and after and in between who I’ve spent hours and days and months fantasizing about. 

I say I’ve spent my hope on the straight chicks I’ve chased, but I question the authenticity of my hope. Because what have I really wanted? I haven’t wanted them. I’ve wanted the great comfort of running in circles. I’ve wanted only the chase. 

With some of them, I’ve lived entire lifetimes in my head. We’ve moved to France and San Francisco and maybe the Maldives. We’ve had the best lives. It’s been perfect, because that’s how things are when they’re not allowed to be real. 

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Najtrudniejsze

Danger, danger !!

What do you love?

Saint Augustine defined sin as disordered love: giving one’s heart too much to things which are not worthy of it, and too little to that which is.

Virtue, conversely, he defined as rightly ordered love.

It’s easy to pay lip service to having our loves prioritized in the right order. But it isn’t our words which reveal where our hearts lie, but our actions.

If you say you love God above all, but spend more time looking at Instagram than reading scriptures, you really love social media more than God.

If you say you love your child more than your phone, but look at your screen instead of her face when she talks to you, you really love your phone more than your child.

If you say you love your family more than your job, but keep putting in unnecessary overtime hours at the office, you really love work more than your family.

If you say you’ll text someone, pray for someone, follow-up with someone, and then neglect to do so, you really love the appearance of concern/compassion/interest, more than their realities.

What you truly love is revealed in how you spend your time, allocate your attention, and make decisions.

How we act in specific situations, springs from the degree to which we love certain virtues in general. When you love courage, integrity, and loyalty more than ease, popularity, and outward success, you act in ways that are brave, honest, and true.

Augustine believed that human misery was a function of loving lesser goods more than greater goods, giving our hearts to the finite over the infinite. (Why neglect finite?) But the importance of how we order our loves extends beyond our temporal happiness, to who we ultimately become. For, as James K.A. Smith has said, “You are what you love.”

But the importance of how we order our loves extends beyond our temporal happiness, to who we ultimately become. For, as James K.A. Smith has said, “You are what you love.”

Otwartość / Openess

Po moim wstydliwym bardzo pobycie na beforze u Pawła, zadzwoniłam do niego pytając co mam zrobić z ta moja potrzebą otwartości i rozmawiania o negatywnych, traumatycznych, smutnych chwilach?

Paweł odziwo powiedział, że to jest bardzo dobre i ludzkie, ale powinnam to
BALANSOWAĆ poytywem

czyli np. Daniel na fenibucie ab und zu, ale bardzo dobrze mu idzie w stomatologii
ja w korporacji, ale kasa taka, że w końcu odkładam.

You cannot be eternally open and

Let’s say you’re a meditation instructor. Your student arrives for a meeting, and because you’re very open and in tune, something magical happens. There’s some real communication between the two of you, and you can see that something has helped, something has gotten through and connected with her own heart. She leaves and you feel great—“Wow! I did that wonderful thing. I could feel it.” The next person comes in and you forget about the freshness because you’re feeling so good about what you just did. He sits down and talks to you and you come out with the same answers that you just gave the last person. But that just leaves this new person cold; he couldn’t care less. You have the humbling experience of realizing that there’s never just one solution to a problem. Helping yourself or someone else has to do with opening and just being there; that’s how something happens between people. But it’s a continuous process. That’s how you learn. You can’t open just once.

Franciszki uro 3 h wloczenia rano po mokotwie, test negatywnie przeszla

Negatywne emocje / Negative emotions

Let's say you're angry. The object is Mortimer and here comes the poison: fury. You breath that it. The idea is to develop sympathy for your own confusion. The technique is that you do not blame Mortmier, you also do not blame yourself. Instead, there is just liberated fury - hot, black and heavy. Expierence it as fully as you can.

You breathe the anger in; you remove the object; you stop thinking about him. In fact he was just a useful catalyst. Now you own the anger completely. You drive all blames into yourself. It takes a lot of bravery and it's extremely insulting to the ego,it destroys it.

Photography

Love yourself

The goal here is to create a groove deeper than the ones laid down over the years - the ones that create disempowering feelings.  They took time as well.  Some we've had since childhood.

Which is why this requires a focused commitment.  Why it must be a practice.  Forget demolishing the grooves of the past.  What you're creating is a new groove so deep, so powerful, that your thoughts will automatically flow down this one.

Marketing / Sales Godin

1) Marketing Around Your Product

2) The goal of every marketer is to create a purple cow, a product or experience so remarkable that people feel compelled to talk about it. Remarkable goods and services help ideas spread—not hype-filled advertising.

The challenge lies in figuring out what’s remarkable and actually making the remarkable happen. I believe the best way to do that is to craft a story that someone enjoys telling to himself. Before we are able to share a story with friends, colleagues or the Internet, we need to tell it to ourselves.

3) She could try to grow by persuading people who don’t care about her particular style of ambience and healthy foods and fluffy couches that this place is better than Starbucks. She could grow by persuading people to eat more soy so they don’t have a heart attack. Neither approach stands a chance of working. People don’t want to change their minds.

Instead, Vivian is growing by reaching out to communities that will choose to pay attention, to individuals who have a worldview that will embrace the story she’s trying to tell.

Of course, Vivian will really have a home run once her loyal customers start telling stories to their friends—friends who might not share the worldview but are eager to do something that others are doing, eager to hang out at a place beloved by their best friends

Affection Attraction Love

I can ask, you can say no, and we can negotiate

Jaga Realna w swojej nierealności

North N
However, the process involves giving up control. Gemini North Node people are very good with small talk, but if they ask a friend: “Why are you going to Chicago?” they don’t know what the other person is going to say. That means they won’t know how to respond. Because the other person is going to give them new information, they’re essentially giving control of the conversation to that person. It feels good to them on one level, but they’re always afraid they’re not going to know what to say next! Yet when they do let go and allow the other person to control the conversation, what they want to say comes naturally, and their real selves come out in a positive way