“All love is founded on a dissatisfaction with oneself…” he said. “Tell me whom you love and I will tell you who you are and, more especially, who you want to be.”5 According to his view, the fascination that draws us magnetically toward that special other is really just a fascination with our own unattainable perfection. Other students of love insist that the essence of love is the need to overcome the ultimate loneliness of existence, a need implicit in the Platonic myth of the divided self.
I agree with Ethel Person, a contemporary psychoanalyst who breaks with tradition by asserting that the search for love is - ultimate goal is enlargement of the self. The search for love is a creative project, a great act of imagination that is shaped at least as much by where we are going as by where we have been. One thing is certain: the romantic impulse springs from the deepest levels of the human psyche.
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