PURE GENIUS, BRUCE LEE ON SELF ESTEEM as highest aim, best religion AND RIOTS

Pride is a sense of worth derived from something that is not organically part of us; while self-esteem derives from the potentialities and achievements of self. We are proud when we identify ourselves with an imaginary self, a leader, a holy cause, a collective body of possessions. There is fear and intolerance in pride; it is insensitive and uncompromising. The less promise and potency in the self, the more imperative is the need for pride. The core of pride is self-rejection. It is true that when pride releases energies and serves as a spur to achievement, it can lead to a reconciliation with the self and the attainment of genuine self-esteem.

We acquire a sense of worth either by realizing our talents, or by keeping busy, or by identifying ourselves with something apart from us—be it a cause, a leader, a group, possessions and the like. Of the three, the path of self-realization is the most difficult. It is taken only when other avenues to a sense of worth are more or less blocked. Men of talent have to be encouraged and goaded to engage in creative work. Their groans and laments echo through the ages.

The autonomous individual, striving to realize himself and prove his worth, has created all that is great in literature, art, music, science, and technology. The autonomous individual, also, when he can neither realize himself nor justify his existence by his own efforts, is a breeding of frustration, and the seed of the convulsions that shake our world to its foundations. The individual on his own is stable only so long as he is possessed of self-esteem. The maintenance of self-esteem is a continuous task that taxes all of the individual’s power and inner resources. We have to prove our worth and justify our existence anew each day. When, for whatever reason, self-esteem is unattainable, the autonomous individual becomes a highly explosive entity. He turns away from an unpromising self and plunges into the pursuit of pride—the explosive substitute for self-esteem. All social disturbances and upheavals have their roots in a crisis of individual self-esteem, and the great endeavors in which the masses most readily unite is basically a search for pride.

The times of drastic change are times of passion. We can never be fit and ready for that which is wholly new. We have to adjust ourselves, and every radical adjustment is a crisis in self-esteem: we undergo a test; we have to prove ourselves. A population subjected to drastic change is thus a population of misfits, and misfits live and breathe in an atmosphere of passion.That we pursue something passionately does not always mean that we really want it or have a special aptitude for it. Often the thing we pursue most passionately is but a substitute for the one thing we really want and cannot have. It is usually safe to predict that the fulfillment of an excessively cherished desire is not likely to still our nagging anxiety. In every passionate pursuit, the pursuit counts more than the object pursued.
Humility is not renunciation of pride but the substitution of one pride for another.

To become different from what we are, we must have some awareness of what we are. Whether being different results in dis-simulation or a real change of heart—it cannot be realized without self-awareness. Yet it is remarkable that the very people who are most self-dissatisfied and crave most for a new identity have the least self-awareness. They have turned away from an unwanted self and hence never had a good look at it. The result is that those most dissatisfied can neither dissimulate nor attain a real change of heart. They are transparent, and their unwanted qualities persist through all attempts at self-dramatization and self-transformation.

Thinking is not freedom

Thinking is not freedom—all thought is partial; it can never be total. Thought is the response of memory and memory is always partial, because memory is the result of experience. So, thought is the reaction of a mind conditioned by experience.

SIMPLIFYING THE EXPERIENCE OF BEING OVERWHELMED

Many a martial artist likes “more,” likes “something different,” not knowing the truth and the way is exhibited in the simple everyday movements, because it is here they miss it. If there is any secret, it is missed by seeking.
Bruce Lee

You cannot see a street fight in its totality, observing it from the viewpoint of a boxer, a kung-fu man, a karateka, a wrestler, a judo man and so forth. You can see clearly only when style does not interfere. You then see it without “like” or “dislike”; you simply see and what you see is the whole and not the partial.

Thinking is not freedom—all thought is partial; it can never be total. Thought is the response of memory and memory is always partial, because memory is the result of experience. So, thought is the reaction of a mind conditioned by experience.

Logic MTV 2017

Understanding oneself happens through a process of relationships and not through isolation.

NO WAY AS WAY, NO LIMITATIONS AS LIMITATIONS

• Partiality: a separated yin/yang symbol representing a separated identity that runs to extremes and is not in harmony with itself.
• Fluidity: a unified yin/yang symbol which represents an achievement of balance between the masculine and feminine natures and arrows showing the constant interplay between the two.
• Emptiness: the formless form. Empty your mind and let it be free and uncluttered, ready to respond in the moment.
• The Core Symbol of Jeet Kune Do: representing the ultimate self realized man. The Chinese writing reads: “Using no way as way, having no limitation as limitation.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YL2Iq3UfQVI LAO TZU

Death

We all relish a little taste of death every now and then. Its bitter flavor makes life taste sweeter. Anyone who has survived a true near-death experience, a sudden close call in a car or plane, knows that for a while afterward colors seem sharper, family and friends are more important, and time is
more precious. The nearness of death makes life more real.

Jung's Heroic Archetypes

Heroic Archetypes:

1. Hero as warrior (Odysseus): A near god-like hero faces physical challenges and external enemies 2. Hero as lover (Prince Charming): A pure love motivate hero to complete his quest
3. Hero as Scapegoat (Jesus): Hero suffers for the sake of others
4. Transcendent Hero: The hero of tragedy whose fatal flaw brings about his downfall, but not without achieving some kind of transforming realization or wisdom (Greek and Shakespearean tragedies—Oedipus, Hamlet, Macbeth, etc.)
5. Romantic/Gothic Hero: Hero/lover with a decidedly dark side (Mr. Rochester in Jane Eyre)
6. Proto-Feminist Hero: Female heroes (The Awakening by Kate Chopin)
7. Apocalyptic Hero: Hero who faces the possible destruction of society
8. Anti-Hero: A non-hero, given the vocation of failure, frequently humorous (Homer Simpson)
9. Defiant Anti-hero: Opposer of society’s definition of heroism/goodness. (Heart of Darkness)
10. Unbalanced Hero: The Protagonist who has (or must pretend to have) mental or emotional deficiencies (Hamlet, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest)
11. The Other—the Denied Hero: The protagonist whose status or essential otherness makes heroism possible (Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison, The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan)
12. The Superheroic: Exaggerates the normal proportions of humanity; frequently has divine or supernatural origins. In some sense, the superhero is one apart, someone who does not quite belong, but who is nonetheless needed by society. (Mythological heroes, Superman)

Art piece

Man's look like a machine/industrial building, woman like a beautiful woman

Hero's journey Vogler

PSYCHOLOGICAL FUNCTION

In psychological terms, the archetype of the Hero represents what Freud called the
ego — that part of the personality that separates from the mother, that considers
itself distinct from the rest of the human race. Ultimately, a Hero is one who is able
to transcend the bounds and illusions of the ego, but at first, Heroes are all ego: the I,
the one, that personal identity which thinks it is separate from the rest of the group.
The journey of many Heroes is the story of that separation from the family or tribe,
equivalent to a child's sense of separation from the mother.
The Hero archetype represents the ego's search for identity and wholeness.
In the process of becoming complete, integrated human beings, we are all Heroes
facing internal guardians, monsters, and helpers. In the quest to explore our own
minds we find teachers, guides, demons, gods, mates, servants, scapegoats, masters,
seducers, betrayers, and allies, as aspects of our personalities and characters in our
dreams. All the villains, tricksters, lovers, friends, and foes of the Hero can be found
inside ourselves. The psychological task we all face is to integrate these separate parts
into one complete, balanced entity. The ego, the Hero thinking she is separate from
all these parts of herself, must incorporate them to become the Self.

I DEPARTURE

1) Ordinary World

Look around, sister, brother of the Home Tribe. You can see the people are barely getting by,
surviving on a dwindling supply of last season's food. Times are bad and the country all
around seems lifeless. The people grow weak before our eyes, but a few of us are filed with
restless energy.
Like you. You're uncomfortable, feeling you no longer fit in with this drab, exhausted place.
You may not know it, but you're soon to be selected as a hero, to join the select company of
the Seekers, those who have always gone out to face the unknown. You'll undertake a journey
to restore life and health to the entire Home Tribe, an adventure in which the only sure thing
is that you'll be changed. You're uneasy, but there's a thrill running through you. You're poised
to break free from this world, ready to enter the world of adventure.

2) Call to Adventure

Trouble shadows the Home Tribe. You hear its call, in the grumbling of our stomachs and the
cries of our hungry children. The land for miles around is tapped out and barren and clearly
someone must go out beyond the familiar territory. That unknown land is strange and fills us
with fear, but pressure mounts to do something, to take some risks, so that life can continue.
A figure emerges from the campfire smoke, an elder of the Home Tribe, pointing to you. Yes,
you have been chosen as a Seeker and called to begin a new quest. You'll venture your life so
that the greater life of the Home Tribe may go on.

3) Refusal of the Call

Gather your gear, fellow Seeker. Think ahead to possible dangers, and reflect on past disasters.
The specter of the unknown walks among us, halting our progress at the threshold. Some of
us turn down the quest, some hesitate, some are tugged at by families who fear for our lives
and don't want us to go. You hear people mutter that the journey is foolhardy, doomed from
the start. You feel fear constricting your breathing and making your heart race. Should you
stay with the Home Tribe, and let others risk their necks in the quest? Are you cut out to be
a Seeker?

4) Meeting with the Mentor

You Seekers, fearful at the brink of adventure, consult with the elders of the Home Tribe. Seek
out those who have gone before. Learn the secret lore of watering holes, game trails, and berry
patches, and what badlands, quicksand, and monsters to avoid. An old one, too feeble to go out
again, scratches a map for us in the dirt. The shaman of the tribe presses something into your
hand, a magic gift, a potent talisman that will protect us and guide us on the quest. Now we
can set out with lighter hearts and greater confidence, for we take with us the collected wisdom
of the Home Tribe.

5) Crossing the first Threshold

The ranks of the Seekers are thinner now. Some of us have dropped out, but the final few
are ready to cross the threshold and truly begin the adventure. The problems of the Home
Tribe are clear to everyone, and desperate — something must be done, now! Ready or not,
we lope out of the village leaving all things familiar behind. As you pull away you feel the
jerk of the invisible threads that bind you to your loved ones. It's difficult to pull away from
every thing you know but with a deep breath you go on, taking the plunge into the abyss of the
unknown.
We enter a strange no-man's-land, a world between worlds, a zone of crossing that may be
desolate and lonely, or in places, crowded with life. You sense the presence of other beings, other
forces with sharp thorns or claws, guarding the way to the treasure you seek. But there's no
turning back now, we all feel it; the adventure has begun for good or ill.

II INITIATION

1) Tests, Allies, Enemies

We Seekers are in shock — this new world is so different from the home we've always
known. Not only are the terrain and the local residents different, the rules of this place are
strange as they can be. Different things are valued here and we have a lot to learn about the
local currency, customs, and language. Strange creatures jump out at you! Think fast! Don't
eat that, it could be poison!
Exhausted by the journey across the desolate threshold zone, we're running out of time and
energy. Remember our people back in the Home Tribe are counting on us. Enough sightseeing,
let's concentrate on the goal. We must go where the food and game and information are
to be found. There our skills will be tested, and we'll come one step closer to what we seek.

2) Approach to the Inmost Cave

Our band of Seekers leaves the oasis at the edge of the new world, refreshed and armed with
more knowledge about the nature and habits of the game we're hunting. We're ready to press on
to the heart of the new world where the greatest treasures are guarded by our greatest fears.
Look around at your fellow Seekers. We've changed already and new qualities are emerging.
Who's the leader now? Some who were not suited for life in the Ordinary World are now
thriving. Others who seemed ideal for adventure are turning out to be the least able. A new
perception of yourself and others is forming. Based on this new awareness, you can make
plans and direct yourself towards getting what you want from the Special World. Soon you
will be ready to enter the Inmost Cave.

3) Ordeal

Seeker, enter the Inmost Cave and look for that which will restore life to the Home Tribe.
The way grows narrow and dark. You must go alone on hands and knees and you feel the
earth press close around you. You can hardly breathe. Suddenly you come out into the deepest
chamber and find yourself face-to-face with a towering figure, a menacing Shadow composed
of all your doubts and fears and well armed to defend a treasure. Here, in this moment, is
the chance to win all or die. No matter what you came for, it's Death that now stares back at
you. Whatever the outcome of the battle, you are about to taste death and it will change you.

4) Reward

We Seekers look at one another with growing smiles. We've won the right to be called heroes.
For the sake of the Home Tribe we faced death, tasted it, and yet lived. From the depths of
terror we suddenly shoot up to victory. It's time to fill our empty bellies and raise our voices
around the campfire to sing of our deeds. Old wounds and grievances are forgotten. The story
of our journey is already being woven.
You pull apart from the rest, strangely quiet. In the leaping shadows you remember those who
didn't make it, and you notice something. You're different. You've changed. Part of you has
died and something new has been born. You and the world will never seem the same. This too
is part of the Reward for facing death.

III RETURN

1) Road back

Wake up, Seekers! Shake off the effects of our feast and celebration and remember why we
came out here in the first place! People back home are starving and it's urgent, now that we've
recovered from the ordeal, to load up our backpacks with food and treasure and head for
home. Besides, there's no telling what dangers still lurk on the edge of the hunting grounds.
You pause at the edge of camp to look back. They'll never believe this back home. How to tell
them? Something bright on the ground catches your eye. You bend to pick it up — a beautiful
smooth stone with an inner glow. Suddenly a dark shape darts out at you, all fangs. Run!
Run for your life!

2) The Resurrection

We -weary Seekers shuffle hack towards the village. Look! The smoke of the Home Tribe fires!
Pick up the pace! But wait — the shaman appears to stop us from charging back in. You have
been to the land of Death, he says, and you look like death itself, covered in blood, carrying the
torn flesh and hide of your game. If you march back into the village without purifying and
cleansing yourselves, you may bring death back with you. You must undergo one final sacrifice
before rejoining the tribe. Your warrior self must die so you can be reborn as an innocent into
the group. The trick is to keep the wisdom of the Ordeal, while getting rid of its bad effects.
After all we've been through, fellow Seekers, we must face one more trial, maybe the hardest
one yet.

3) Return with the Elixir

We Seekers come home at last, purged, purified, and bearing the fruits of our journey. We
share out the nourishment and treasure among the Home Tribe, with many a good story
about how they were won. A circle has been closed, you can feel it. You can see that our struggles
on the Road of Heroes have brought new life to our land. There will be other adventures,
but this one is complete, and as it ends it brings deep healing, wellness, and wholeness to our
world. The Seekers have come Home.

Definiowanie odpowiedzialności

Artists sometimes ride through life like Odysseus lashed to the mast, with all senses deeply experiencing the song of life, but also voluntarily bound to the ship of their art. They are refusing the
powerful Call of the world, in order to follow the wider Call of artistic expression.

Things are always in the process of flowing into their opposites

According to the ancient Chinese philosophy of the I Ching, the doctrine of
changes, things are always in the process of flowing into their opposites. Extreme
idealists can turn into cynics, passionate lovers into cold-hearted haters. Abject
cowards have the sleeping potential to become heroes, and many saints began as great
sinners. This eternally changing feature of reality is described by the Taoist symbol
of Yin and Yang, the two comma shapes flowing into one another, each with the seed
of its opposite deep in its center.

Bjork, my savior

We just have to define technology. There's no one answer. Sometimes you have to burn yourself. Maybe there are a lot of kids now who don't know how to walk in a forest and do basic outdoorsy things. You can be on Facebook for a long time, and then you get a feeling in your body like you've had three hamburgers. You know it's trash. I always advise my friends: just go for a walk for an hour and come back and see how you feel then. I think we're meant to be outdoors. I was brought up in Iceland, and even if it was snowing or raining, I would be outdoors all day. Entertain yourself. Do shit. I think we need to put humanity into technology—the soul. It's about using technology to get closer to people, to be more creative.

You work meticulously across almost every artistic aspect of your career. How do you juggle all of them?

A big part of it is I've just done it for a long time. If you publish your first book, maybe you wouldn't be bothered by the paper, but three books later, you might say, “Actually, I do care about the paper and the font.” As time goes, you get opinions on how to do things. In the beginning, when I was punk bands back in Iceland, I was really dogmatic that it was all about the music. You're not supposed to care about how you dress, your hair—that was all superficial. Very strict. But then you see four photos of you—not that you're ugly or you’re pretty—but it's just not representative of the song you wrote. Five years into it, you go, “Wait a minute, I met this guy at the bar and he does photos, I think he understands.” And then you do photos together. It's gradual.

Do you think you're better at what you do now than you've ever been?

I don’t know. I look at it like this: You're in orbit around a moon, and age just means you’re always looking at the same thing but from a different point of view. To be able to not be shot out of orbit, you have to be really careful about getting rid of any luggage that isn’t relevant and will weigh you down.

First you discover the tool, then it’s like meeting a new friend, and then you can try and figure where the magic happens, where the most potential is to grow. It’s that heat point, and that feeling of entering the unknown, that really excites me.

I love the feeling of entering the unknown. You have to allow yourself a lot of mistakes, and then when you get it right, it’s so rewarding. 

Do you see VR as something that removes you from the natural world or do you see it as something that folds into reality?

I think it’s both. I think it’s binary, and I think that’s almost the point. If you try to escape one thing and just do one or the other, you’re always going to end up at the same point. I don’t know if that makes sense, but it sort of eats its own tail. It’s always going to be that question, for sure, but I’m sure that was the same question people had with everybody on trains reading books or commuting or whatever. It’s always going to be, are they here with us in the train, or are they somewhere else in their book? I don’t think this is any different. There are obviously different challenges with this, though.

I heard somebody say that he watched some crazy game, for like eight hours a day, that had the wrong physics in it—like all the distances to the mountains or whatever didn’t add up. So, what happened after a few days, is first he would get seasick when he was in the machine, and then he would actually get used to it. Then when he would take the machine off him, he would get seasick. He had to put it back on to not throw up. That’s obviously very scary. Then with anything, you have to work out things like the soul and humanity, and what’s good for you, and not be lazy. These good old ethics can come back. To not get addicted.

In The Decline of the West, Oswald Spengler (188o-1936) identified eight colossal monads of great majesty, with a ninth now in formation, as having shaped and dominated world history since the rise, in the fourth millennium B.c., of the first literate high cultures-(!) the Sumero-Babylonian, (2) the Egyptian, (3) the Greco-Roman (Apollonian), (4) the Vedic-Aryan, of lndia, (5) the Chinese, (6) the MayaAztec-Incan, (7) the Magian (Persian-Arabian, Judeo-Christian-Islamic), (8) the Faustian (Gothic-Christian to modern European-American), and now, beneath the imposed alien crust of a Marxian cultural pseudomorphosis, (9) the germinating Russian-Christian. 1

My basic metaphysical axiom

Now it is my contention and my basic metaphysical axiom that existence—the physical universe—is basically playful. There is no necessity for it whatsoever. It is not going anywhere; that is to say, it does not have some destination at which it ought to arrive. It is best understood by analogy with music because music as an art form is essentially playful. We say, “You play the piano.” You do not work the piano. Why? For instance, music differs from travel because when you travel you are trying to get somewhere and, being a very compulsive and purposive culture, we are busy going everywhere faster and faster in an attempt to eliminate the distance between places. With modern jet travel you can arrive anywhere almost instantaneously, and what happens, as a result, is that the two ends of your journey become the same place. So you eliminate the distance and you eliminate the journey, and you forget that the fun of the journey is to travel, not to obliterate travel. In music, though, one does not make the end of a composition the point of the composition. If that were so, the best conductors would be those who played fastest, and there would be composers who wrote only finales. People would go to a concert just to hear one crashing chord because that is the end. The same is true of dancing because the point of dancing is to dance.



When you think a bit about what people really want to do with their time, and you ask what they do when they are not being pushed around or somebody is telling them what to do, you find they like to make rhythms. They listen to music and they dance or they sing, or perhaps they do something of a rhythmic nature like playing cards, bowling, or raising their elbows. Given the chance, everybody wants to spend their time swinging

Cybernetics, Machine learning

The term servomechanisms has been coined precisely to designate machines with an intrinsic purposeful behavior.” The key was control, or self-regulation.

To analyze it properly he borrowed an obscure term from electrical engineering: “feed-back,” the return of energy from a circuit’s output back to its input. When feedback is positive, as when the sound from loudspeakers is re-amplified through a microphone, it grows wildly out of control. But when feedback is negative—as in the original mechanical governor of steam engines, first analyzed by James Clerk Maxwell—it can guide a system toward equilibrium; it serves as an agent of stability

Man, he thinks, is recreating himself, monstrously magnified, in his own image.
He was not as interested in shedding light on the rise of computing—to which, in any case, his connections were peripheral—as in how computing might shed light on humanity

He worried that it would devalue the human brain as factory machinery had devalued the human hand.

We are not fighting for a definitive victory in the indefinite future. It is the greatest possible victory to be, to continue to be and to have been

Like the Red Queen, we cannot stay where we are without running as fast as we can

Neither deterministic, nor random

A stochastic process is neither deterministic (the next event can be calculated with certainty) nor random (the next event is totally free). It is governed by a set of probabilities. Each event has a probability that depends on the state of the system and perhaps also on its previous history. If for event we substitute symbol, then a natural written language like English or Chinese is a stochastic process.

A message, as Shannon saw, can behave like a dynamical system whose future course is conditioned by its past history.

Information, Gleick

Drums communication

Captain Allen discovered the talking drums of Africa, a way of relaying messages, in 1841. Around the same time F. B. Morse was developing Morse code. (19) African languages are tonal and are not do not correspond to a representational alphabet. The meaning of their verbal language is conveyed as much by tone (rising and falling of inflections etc.) as it is by distinct words (23). African drum language takes this to the extreme and conveys meaning in tone (24). In order to reduce confusion, extra phrases are added to each short word, (much like the NATO phonetic alphabet) (25-26). Verbosity aids contextualisation.The chapter sets up context and redundancy as key to understanding Gleick’s version of Information.

African drummer makes himself understood across long distances, not by banging the drums harder, but by expanding the verbosity of his discourse.

You’re better off not giving the small things more time than they deserve

Fear settling

Put yourself in a hard condition-hunger The way Seneca would phrase it is all the while asking yourself, “Is this the condition I so feared?” 

What are your values? Top 10

Accountability Accuracy Achievement Adventurousness Altruism Ambition Assertiveness Balance Being the best Belonging Boldness Calmness Carefulness Challenge Cheerfulness Clear-mindedness Commitment Community Compassion Competitiveness Consistency Contentment Continuous Improvement Contribution Control Cooperation Correctness Courtesy Creativity Curiosity Decisiveness Democraticness Dependability Determination Devoutness Diligence Discipline Discretion Diversity Dynamism Economy Effectiveness Efficiency Elegance Empathy Enjoyment Enthusiasm Equality

Excellence Excitement Expertise Exploration Expressiveness Fairness Faith Family-orientedness Fidelity Fitness Fluency Focus Freedom Fun Generosity Goodness Grace Growth Happiness Hard Work Health Helping Society Holiness Honesty Honor Humility Independence Ingenuity Inner Harmony Inquisitiveness Insightfulness Intelligence Intellectual Status Intuition Joy Justice Leadership Legacy Love Loyalty Making a difference Mastery Merit Obedience Openness Order Originality Patriotism

Perfection Piety Positivity Practicality Preparedness Professionalism Prudence Quality-orientation Reliability Resourcefulness Restraint Results-oriented Rigor Security Self-actualization Self-control Selflessness Self-reliance Sensitivity Serenity Service Shrewdness Simplicity Soundness Speed Spontaneity Stability Strategic Strength Structure Success Support Teamwork Temperance Thankfulness Thoroughness Thoughtfulness Timeliness Tolerance Traditionalism Trustworthiness Truth-seeking Understanding Uniqueness Unity Usefulness Vision Vitality

I have no bussiness but with myself

“The world always looks straights ahead; as for me, I turn my gaze inward, I fix it there and keep it busy. Everyone looks in front of him: as for me, I look inside me: I have no business but with myself; I continually observe myself, I take stock of myself, I taste myself. Others…they always go forward; as for me, I roll about in myself.”

But philosophy is both theoretic and practical; it contemplates and at the same time acts.

IMPRO

-Performing without preperation, responding to the moment of our immediate environment
-there are no mistakes
-listen
-say yes, and
-listen to your inner voice, you ideas are smart and good enough
-don't use your mind too much
-use your body
-use your memory,colour, tastes, shapes, experiences
-use props
-use your voice: loud or soft and timid
-use music
-put all your attention to the partner
-The best ways to go are to stick to your character, stick to the story that is being told, and to stay within the reality of the scene you are playing.
- You can look good if you make your partner look good
- All too often, I've seen players enter a scene and I can just tell they have some really great idea about the character they are going to play or an idea they want to do. This is wonderful, but guess what? Your partner probably has absolutely no idea what's cooking in your evil little mind, and so has no idea how to react. And no matter how brilliant your idea might be, it's practically worthless if the scene as a whole goes bad.

Very very well written Aquarius in North Node

What happens because of that? Well, we never really get the fulfillment of acting out this drama that we seek. Being the center of attention and trying to get everything and everyone to bend to our will is just going to make us feel empty. This has been a challenging yet interesting lesson for me because I have my Leo Sun conjunct my South Node. Therefore, I have identified (Sun) so much with being the Leo superstar that it’s been hard for me to realize how self-defeating that’s been. The Universe is set up to deny us our South Node, if we go to extremes with it. Now, I firmly believe that people should not “leave behind” their South Node. There are excellent things about the South Node. But, to access those more positive traits, you have to be balanced out by your North Node. Being the center of attention and trying to get everything and everyone to bend to our will is just going to make us feel empty.And it’s not exactly that you’re “learning” to be your North Node. It’s just that you are developing more conscious awareness of the North Node because it’s already in you. It develops through a constant dissatisfaction with your South Node.The South Node is like that job that gives you basic security but isn’t fulfilling. The North Node is like the job that you really want to do but might have pushed it to the back of your mind because it’ll take you out of your comfort zone.Aquarius North Node people have to be very humbled by life in order to access this part of themselves. After a lifetime of pursuing the superstar role, of trying to be widely adored, of attempting to find that life-defining passion with someone else, we will still come up short somehow. Maybe we don’t find that fame or recognition we searched for.These situations will be painful but they will break down our ego and allow us to develop the ability to care less and less about being fabulous and loved. The more Aquarius North Node is denied the amazing lifestyle that they crave so much, the more they will be able to get in touch with their free-spirited nature and let go of what people thinkSo, the higher self of someone with their North Node in Aquarius is capable of not being in it for themselves. When that glorious fame or magical love doesn’t come to us, we master the art of healthy detachment. When people with this placement are in this mode of thinking, they can truly blow wherever the wind takes them. We have a habit of wanting what we want and when we want it, which is what can make us so demanding or spoiled. But, getting in touch with our inner detachment allows us to release what we want. And when we do, greater things end up coming back to us. Therefore, our truest soul-expression allows us to see that life is random and unpredictable. We cannot script it or control it. We just have to have a high tolerance for the chaos.Aquarius North Node people also rise above their self-obsession when they stop worrying about their “celebrity.” But, when we evolve and consciously express our Aquarius North Node, other people’s approval becomes much less important.We have the acceptance and love that really matters: the self-love of our South Node in Leo developing that true self-confidence makes us want to make other people the superstars. Our fame stops being important to us. Instead, we want to shine a spotlight on what makes other people special. In our less evolved mode, we constantly hit a wall when we try to make our specialness so visible and known. But, through that process, we unconsciously develop the ability to notice what’s wonderful about the people around us and why they’re getting the recognition that we’re not. As a result, the conscious Aquarius North Node is there to applaud others, to show each and everyone that they are a individual worth recognition in their own right. The ego is being transcended, in this stage. We already know we’re special and important. Now, we’re egalitarians, wanting others to know that they have something special and important to offer, as well.This focus on other people is very important for the Aquarius North Node’s spiritual development. It also helps to focus on higher ideals and causes. Whenever we’re in something just for our own fulfillment, it’s not going to get anywhere. So, with this North Node, your greatest potential comes from being able to contribute something important to society and this world. You must stretch yourself beyond concerns of the self and become focused on concerns of the collective. Are you opening people’s minds? Are you introducing and developing interesting concepts and meaningful projects? Are you helping to change the world around you? This is where your spiritual growth lies. You can no longer be solely concerned with how something in the world affects only you. It’s not just your world anymore. It’s everyone’s world and you just live in it
North Node in Aquarius people find their true success in being innovative, championing causes, promoting projects, and/or working outside of the mainstream. When you go against the grain, you express your true soul nature. Aquarius North Node individuals are rebels and nonconformists at a soul level. So, you have to allow yourself to go crazy or get weird, without worrying about the response from your “audience.” Your higher self is independent-minded and sort of eccentric, not caring too much what people think. After all, this free-thinking gives you the space to do the innovation and experimentation that you need to do. When you take true charge of yourself via your Leo South Node, without seeking others’ approval, no one will really be able to influence you. And as a result of owning yourself so strongly, you can give other people the freedom to totally be whoever they want to be, within rational limits, and not judge them for it
Therefore, you’re capable of effortlessly reeling your audience in, no matter how crazy or unusual your presentation is. You know how to command a crowd and have people eating out of your palm. But, at this stage, you’ll be doing it for something beyond the self
Our soul is tired of the unfulfilling focus on our love life, our clothes, our favorite celebrities, our best attributes, etc. We have to move beyond superficial preoccupations. There is a real genius inside of the soul of every Aquarius North Node. We have to develop this potential, charging up our brainpower with exciting, fascinating, and out-there subjects.
The more we focus on these things beyond the self, the less of a yearning for drama we will have. It’s not to say that we will no longer be dramatic. There will always be a drama queen or drama king inside of those with this placement because of our South Node in Leo. But, we need to be able to objectively use this dramatic flair. 
Maybe the outlet for our drama comes from acting, writing, or singing. Maybe it’s through being able to present things to people in entertaining, colorful ways. And when we need to entertain, we absolutely entertain. But, balance with these Nodes comes from being able to use our dramatic side in an impersonal way, snapping into being highly emotional or the center of attention, when needed creatively, and then snapping right back out of it.
The people in our personal lives will be thankful, as it really allows us to chill out. Yet, those with an Aquarius North Node are amazingly chill individuals, even though we’re really crazy, at the same time. But, we must be quirky-crazy, not exhausting-crazy. When we get rid of unnecessary drama, we realize how much better we feel when we keep a cooler head. This also allows us to stop being such love-struck schoolboys and schoolgirls all the time
But, that side gets balanced by a cool confidence that not only takes the pressure off of our lover but makes us more attractive to them
As much as we want to be in love and be passionately connected, we have to detach somewhat. Having the North Node in Aquarius means that you cannot base your fulfillment on who you fall in love with. This makes you unbalanced and will keep them from ever really satisfying you. Instead, you have to find your satisfaction through projects, ideals, and causes that keep you engaged with the greater world. When you do, your love life will actually become more satisfying. People with an Aquarius North Node have the soul of a mad scientist, always tinkering away at one experiment or another. And you must remember that you cannot and should not control the results. It’s very easy to try to have your way all the time, with this placement. But, you should be willing to just let things happen. Just see where things go, without some expectation of what should happen. When you creatively and brilliantly live in the chaos, your free spirit within will flourish.

"North Node in Aquarius, [is] a visionary for humanity. It values friendship, is inventive, and dedicated to serving society as whole. This may mean as a social activist, an intellectual, or a scientist whose passion is channeled for the greater good. You are to be a model for all that is new and progressive, and part of your life may be spent active in groups that desire to bring about change."